Tuesday, July 26, 2005

You Are Not An Accident!

WARNING: Today's blog entry may be a little bit of a downer since I didn't have the best of days today. I called my Mom this afternoon just to chat & see how she was doing. I was talking to her about our upcoming vacation & then I don't know what happened, but it was as if she didn't think we should be able to take a vacation! Jim has been working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day & trust me, we need this vacation! It's something we've been saving for & it will be the first real vacation we've taken in over 11 years. Usually, we just go home to PA to visit my family. But this year, we decided to do something different. Anyway, my Mom got mad at me & starting saying stuff like "you should go back to work....you were happier when you were working", which isn't true at all! Then she told me that I was nuts for wanting to take a vacation. After that, the phone call went completely downhill & she ended up hanging up on me again :( What in the world am I doing wrong? It just seems like there's no pleasing her no matter what I do or how hard I try!

When I read Chapter 2 today in The Purpose Driven Life book, it really hit home with me, especially this poem, written by Russell Kelfer:
You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
Something else that really got to me about today's chapter was the title, "You Are Not An Accident!" For most of my life, I've felt like just that....an accident. I was my parent's last chance at having a boy (I'm the youngest of 5 girls) & I feel like I let them down because I wasn't a son. But this chapter made me realize that they had no control over what gender I was.....only God did. God wanted me to be who I am today! And I'm happy with me :)

Today's picture is of my Mom & I taken last Thanksgiving. Although I don't know where we stand now after today's phone call, I do know that I love my Mom very much & always will! There was a reason that God gave me the Mom he did. Just as there is a reason for what happened today.

My son, dil & granddaughter stopped by again today. They didn't stay long, but at least I got to see them again :) Other than that, the rest of the day was pretty boring.....I worked on the layout that's been sitting on my desk for the past 2 weeks, but still haven't completely finished it. I don't know why.....guess I'm just waiting for an idea to jump out at me or something. Sometimes I just need to force myself just to finish a layout so that I can move on to the next one. If I don't, I'll never get caught up in my scrapbooking! Which I probably won't do anyway as I am literally YEARS behind. Ah well.....for me, it's a relaxing hobby & if I never get all of my pictures scrapped, who cares? I'm having fun :)

Until I blog again,
Thank-you for taking the time to read my blog.


Anonymous said...

came across your blog while lurking around on 2peas. I too am from Michigan and a friend of Amandas (nerdgirl)

Saw that you mentioned you live about an hour away from Detroit, which is fairly close to where I live. My name is Kim and I live in Washington Twp. Feel free to email me at mom2adancer@yahoo.com if you'd like

Jennifer Stewart said...

I love this entry, Benita :) YOU are not an accident, that is so true. You are such a blessing in my life! I'm so thankful to call you my friend :))))