Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Beautiful Day!

After all the heat & humidity we've been having the past couple of weeks, we were blessed today with an absolutely gorgeous day! It rained most of last night, but this morning, we woke up to much cooler temperatures & lots of sunshine. I was finally able to open the windows & let some fresh air in. And the best part's supposed to continue to be this nice for the next couple of days. The song "Beautiful Day" by U2 is another one of my favorite songs, which is why I decided to use it as my blog title today. I'm even humming it now while writing this :)

Today's picture is of my Dad & I, another person that I love very much. It was also taken last Thanksgiving & it's one that I truly cherish! My Mom & Dad divorced when I was only 9 years old, so I never really knew my Dad & what he was like. For 32 years, my Dad & I weren't very close at all. Neither of us know why either.....we don't even know what it was that separated us all those years. And as hard as this is to say, one good thing did come from the motorcycle accident that took my sister & Dad & I were reunited with each other! The day we were driving back home from the funeral, my Dad told me something that I will never forget.....he said "I lost one daughter, but I hope I got another daughter back!" Needless to say, that brought instant tears to my eyes & I reassured him that yes, he does have me back & he's never losing me again! I love you, Dad!

Chapter 3 of The Purpose Driven Life book talks about the things that we let drive our lives.....guilt, resentment & anger, fear, materialism & the need for approval. All of those things I have definitely let be my driving force at one time or another.

Guilt: "Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future." Yep, I've done that a LOT! Too much, in fact!

Resentment & anger: "They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over & over in their minds." Boy, isn't that the truth!!! It goes on to say, "Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. While your offender has probably forgotten the offense and gone on with life, you continue to stew in your pain, perpetuating the past. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness."

Fear: "Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life--fear of death, fear of judgment--is one not yet fully formed in love." For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of death & being judged by other people. It's definitely been one of the bigger driving forces in my life.

Materialism: "Your value is not determined by your valuables, and God says the most valuable things in life are not things!" Another thing I'm guilty of doing at times. But I have been working on changing that a lot lately. I am no longer trying to 'keep up with the Jones', as they call it.

Need for Approval: "Many adults are still trying to earn the approval of unpleasable parents." If you only knew how often I've tried to earn my Mom's approval for things in my life! Even yesterday when I told her about our upcoming vacation, it was as if I was asking for her approval & look where it got me (read yesterday's blog entry for what happened with that). "Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried by what others might think." Yep, that's been another one of my problems.....I worry to much about what other people think of me.

I am definitely going to work very hard on changing these things that 'drive my life' right now. Reading this book each day has already given me a more positive outlook on my life & on myself as well. Even tonight at bowling, I was in a much better mood & truly happy for a change :) And not just because we took first place in the league, either, lol. After I did the payouts for the league tonight, we had fun night where we bowled a scotch doubles 9-pin no tap tournament. I really had a good time & Jim & I ended up taking second place in the tourney.....woohoo!

That's it for tonight.....thank-you for reading my blog & please feel free to leave a comment.....I love reading them :)

Until I blog again,
You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

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