Saturday, July 30, 2005

Just Venting A Little

What a frustrating day I had today! My dh set up the boarding for our 2 dogs & I got them all ready to drop off this afternoon, but when I got to the place, they were closed! They were supposed to be open until 5:00p.m., but when I got there at 3:45p.m., no one was there. So I drove back home & tried calling them, but of course, all I got was their answering machine. Needless to say, I started panicking because we're leaving tomorrow & I didn't know what to do with our dogs. My dh finally found a place that was still open & had room for them. So I jumped back in the car & drove out there. When I get there, the lady starts telling me about some sort of shot that they have to give them to prevent some disease.....okay, no problem, I guess. She told me what it was called, but I just can't remember the name of it. But then she goes on to tell me that they just had a cat in there that had an open wound & ended up with maggets everywhere! YUCK!!! And then to top it all off, my dd dropped one of the food containers on the way in & the bottom of it busted right out & we had dog food everywhere! We ended up having to put it in a garbage bag.
So now I'm going nuts worrying about my dogs :( If anything happens to them while we're gone, I'm going to be completely devastated! We already lost our Shelby last year when we went home for the funeral & we had them boarded. She went into liver failure & the place where I had them boarded at waited too long to seek treatment for her. We received a call from our vet & they told us that there was nothing that they could do for her, so we had to have her put to sleep while we were still in PA. Jim bawled :( Shelby was the first dog we got together & she was such a sweetheart! So now I just know that I'm going to be worried all week about them & it's gonna be hard to have fun. As much as the dog hair drives me nuts sometimes, I do love them & would be lost without them. That's Onyx & Reeses in the pictures. Onyx is a black lab mix runt & Reeses is an Australian Shepherd mix. I rescued both of them from shelters because I love being able to save a dog's life. If I could, I'd rescue 100 dogs! But I don't think I could handle all the hair! LOL
Off to finish packing. I'm still debating whether or not I want to take our laptop with us. As much as I could use a break from the computer, I know I'll miss writing in my blog (even if no one but me reads it, lol).
Until I blog again,

Friday, July 29, 2005

11 Months Ago

While reading Chapter 5 of The Purpose Driven Life tonight talking about life being a test, I started to cry when I read this sentence: You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies. That sentence right there may have given me the answer I've been searching for for the past 11 months.....why were my sister & brother-in-law killed on August 29, 2004? It was definitely a senseless tragedy! And how I've handled it hasn't been the best :( I was furious with the girl that killed them! And I'll admit, I still am a little. Now I have to try my best to understand that this was a test. But a test for who? Me? The girl that was driving the car? Who? I guess I still have a lot of questions, huh?

I wrote a poem (not the best) in my website that I have devoted to my sister & brother-in-law & thought I would share it here as well. It sounds kinda corny....a poet I'm definitely not! Here it is:

My Sister, My Confidant,
My Angel, My Friend,
I love you, I miss you,
The pain just won't end!

I know you're at peace now,
a wonderful place to be,
But I just wish for one moment
you could be back here with me!

You were taken away from us
on a beautiful day,
God needed some angels
and you both flew away!
Told ya it was corny! But I just wanted something to express the way I feel about losing my sister & brother-in-law. It's hard to believe that it was 11 months ago today that they went to be with God. Here's the link to my website that I made for them: In Loving Memory Forever .

The picture in tonight's blog is of my sister Karen when she was just a little girl. I don't think I was even born yet when this picture was taken, but I love it because she looks just like an angel in this picture. And now she is an angel! I love you, Karen!

If you have a sister or brother, do me a favor & give them a hug for me when you see them again.

Until I blog again,
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. - Anais Nin

Thursday, July 28, 2005

A Smile You Can't Resist

Today's picture is of my precious granddaughter Era which I truly love & cherish! She is such a joy to be around & always makes you laugh. I am so grateful that my son & dil are finally bringing her by to see us more often! They even stopped by again today :) Look at that can anyone resist it? God truly blessed me when he gave me this wonderful gift! Although I still feel too young to be a grandma ;) I'll never forget the day when my son & his then girlfriend told me that she was was on Christmas Eve, 2003 (talk about the ultimate Christmas present, lol). They were only 17 years old at the time, but they knew that they wanted to keep the baby & when I look at this smile, I know they made the right decision! I don't know what I'd do without this little girl in my life!

Today I received a phone call from our bowling partners from our summer league. It seems that the people they were supposed to bowl with in the fall can't bowl now, so they asked us if we wanted to be their partners. Heck yeah! :) We had SO much fun bowling with them this summer & I just know we're gonna have a blast in the fall as well. That really made my day! Then tonight, Jim & I went up to the bowling center & saw some friends that we haven't seen since spring. I can't wait until the fall leagues start up again. Can you tell I love bowling? :)

On that note, I'm gonna stop for now & get some sleep. Hope my blog didn't put you to sleep reading it ;)

Until I blog again,

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Beautiful Day!

After all the heat & humidity we've been having the past couple of weeks, we were blessed today with an absolutely gorgeous day! It rained most of last night, but this morning, we woke up to much cooler temperatures & lots of sunshine. I was finally able to open the windows & let some fresh air in. And the best part's supposed to continue to be this nice for the next couple of days. The song "Beautiful Day" by U2 is another one of my favorite songs, which is why I decided to use it as my blog title today. I'm even humming it now while writing this :)

Today's picture is of my Dad & I, another person that I love very much. It was also taken last Thanksgiving & it's one that I truly cherish! My Mom & Dad divorced when I was only 9 years old, so I never really knew my Dad & what he was like. For 32 years, my Dad & I weren't very close at all. Neither of us know why either.....we don't even know what it was that separated us all those years. And as hard as this is to say, one good thing did come from the motorcycle accident that took my sister & Dad & I were reunited with each other! The day we were driving back home from the funeral, my Dad told me something that I will never forget.....he said "I lost one daughter, but I hope I got another daughter back!" Needless to say, that brought instant tears to my eyes & I reassured him that yes, he does have me back & he's never losing me again! I love you, Dad!

Chapter 3 of The Purpose Driven Life book talks about the things that we let drive our lives.....guilt, resentment & anger, fear, materialism & the need for approval. All of those things I have definitely let be my driving force at one time or another.

Guilt: "Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future." Yep, I've done that a LOT! Too much, in fact!

Resentment & anger: "They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over & over in their minds." Boy, isn't that the truth!!! It goes on to say, "Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. While your offender has probably forgotten the offense and gone on with life, you continue to stew in your pain, perpetuating the past. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness."

Fear: "Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life--fear of death, fear of judgment--is one not yet fully formed in love." For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of death & being judged by other people. It's definitely been one of the bigger driving forces in my life.

Materialism: "Your value is not determined by your valuables, and God says the most valuable things in life are not things!" Another thing I'm guilty of doing at times. But I have been working on changing that a lot lately. I am no longer trying to 'keep up with the Jones', as they call it.

Need for Approval: "Many adults are still trying to earn the approval of unpleasable parents." If you only knew how often I've tried to earn my Mom's approval for things in my life! Even yesterday when I told her about our upcoming vacation, it was as if I was asking for her approval & look where it got me (read yesterday's blog entry for what happened with that). "Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried by what others might think." Yep, that's been another one of my problems.....I worry to much about what other people think of me.

I am definitely going to work very hard on changing these things that 'drive my life' right now. Reading this book each day has already given me a more positive outlook on my life & on myself as well. Even tonight at bowling, I was in a much better mood & truly happy for a change :) And not just because we took first place in the league, either, lol. After I did the payouts for the league tonight, we had fun night where we bowled a scotch doubles 9-pin no tap tournament. I really had a good time & Jim & I ended up taking second place in the tourney.....woohoo!

That's it for tonight.....thank-you for reading my blog & please feel free to leave a comment.....I love reading them :)

Until I blog again,
You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

You Are Not An Accident!

WARNING: Today's blog entry may be a little bit of a downer since I didn't have the best of days today. I called my Mom this afternoon just to chat & see how she was doing. I was talking to her about our upcoming vacation & then I don't know what happened, but it was as if she didn't think we should be able to take a vacation! Jim has been working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day & trust me, we need this vacation! It's something we've been saving for & it will be the first real vacation we've taken in over 11 years. Usually, we just go home to PA to visit my family. But this year, we decided to do something different. Anyway, my Mom got mad at me & starting saying stuff like "you should go back to were happier when you were working", which isn't true at all! Then she told me that I was nuts for wanting to take a vacation. After that, the phone call went completely downhill & she ended up hanging up on me again :( What in the world am I doing wrong? It just seems like there's no pleasing her no matter what I do or how hard I try!

When I read Chapter 2 today in The Purpose Driven Life book, it really hit home with me, especially this poem, written by Russell Kelfer:
You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
Something else that really got to me about today's chapter was the title, "You Are Not An Accident!" For most of my life, I've felt like just accident. I was my parent's last chance at having a boy (I'm the youngest of 5 girls) & I feel like I let them down because I wasn't a son. But this chapter made me realize that they had no control over what gender I was.....only God did. God wanted me to be who I am today! And I'm happy with me :)

Today's picture is of my Mom & I taken last Thanksgiving. Although I don't know where we stand now after today's phone call, I do know that I love my Mom very much & always will! There was a reason that God gave me the Mom he did. Just as there is a reason for what happened today.

My son, dil & granddaughter stopped by again today. They didn't stay long, but at least I got to see them again :) Other than that, the rest of the day was pretty boring.....I worked on the layout that's been sitting on my desk for the past 2 weeks, but still haven't completely finished it. I don't know why.....guess I'm just waiting for an idea to jump out at me or something. Sometimes I just need to force myself just to finish a layout so that I can move on to the next one. If I don't, I'll never get caught up in my scrapbooking! Which I probably won't do anyway as I am literally YEARS behind. Ah well.....for me, it's a relaxing hobby & if I never get all of my pictures scrapped, who cares? I'm having fun :)

Until I blog again,
Thank-you for taking the time to read my blog.

Monday, July 25, 2005

What On Earth Am I Here For?

Like I stated in my blog entry yesterday, I started reading the book The Purpose Driven Life & that is where I got today's blog title from, What On Earth Am I Here For? Boy, I wish I knew the answer to that question! And hopefully I will find out the answer by reading this book. I know I'm here to be a mother & while I even question my ability to do that somedays, I do try my hardest. It's not easy raising a teenage daughter these days. Heck, just look at this picture & it'll prove it! LOL Cassie HATES having her picture taken (hence the hand in front of her face). Sometimes I feel like I'm even being tested to see how much I can handle. Don't get me wrong.....Cassie is a good kid, but at the same time, she's going through some rough times right now & she's probably asking herself the same question.....what on earth am I here for? Her dream is to form her own rock band & I truly hope that she goes after her dream & never gives up! Even though I posted a picture of Cassie a couple of days ago, I decided to post one again today since she is another person that I love :)

Someone posted on 2 Peas today about how they felt unimportant & that post really got me thinking about how I feel the same way quite often. Sometimes I feel like I don't even exist when I post something on a message board. But you know what....I do exist! I am important! I'm important to my husband, I'm important to my kids, I'm important to God! I honestly believe that this book is going to do me a lot of good :)

Cassie & Emma wanted to go to the mall again today to DDR again, so I took them there this afternoon & then Jim met me there when he got off work. While the kids were DDRing, Jim & I just strolled around the mall, talking & holding hands, just enjoying each other's company. Then when we got home, it was already 8:30, so we just decided to order pizza for dinner. After we ate, Jim helped me put the prize fund for our bowling league together. When we were finished, we just looked at each other & smiled & then snuck in a kiss :) Both of us have come to realize that although we don't get a lot of time to spend together with the hours Jim is working right now, we really do cherish the time we do have together & try to make the best of it, no matter what it is that we're doing. Tonight was proof of that!

Until I blog again,
A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree. Proverbs 11:28

Sunday, July 24, 2005

If God Will Send His Angels

I didn't get a chance to write in my blog yesterday because by the time I got home from picking Emma up, I was just too exhausted to do anything but relax. It was a 2 hour drive there & then on the way back, we did some shopping in Saginaw so it took 4 hours to get home. We didn't get back until 7p.m. & then after we made dinner, we watched a movie. As we were driving through downtown Saginaw, Cassandra saw this church & wanted a picture of it, but she didn't think I would be able to take one through the window. Proved her wrong, lol. Gotta love my DRebel :)

Anyway, this picture brings me to someone else that I love.....God. Although I don't go to church like I should, I know in my heart that I am saved. And although I have been questioning a lot of things lately, I do believe in God. A few months ago, I purchased the book The Purpose Driven Life, but I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't finished reading it yet. Why, I really don't know. But I'm going to pick the book back up tomorrow & read it one chapter a day, just like it tells you to. I need to find out what my purpose is in life. That's something I've been questioning a lot lately, too. Who am I? What is my purpose? What should I be doing with my life? So many questions.....hopefully, this book will show me some of the answers I'm looking for.

Today, I dropped Cassandra & Emma off at the mall so they could go DDR while I went shopping. They had a really good time & I have a funny feeling that they're going to want me to take them again tomorrow....and the next day.....and the next, lol. I don't mind, gets them out of the house for awhile & they're getting exercise at the same time.
The song you're listening to is called "If God Will Send His Angels" by U2. This is one of my favorite songs by them & also from one of my favorite movies "City Of Angels" starring Meg Ryan & Nicholas Cage. I hope they play it when we go see them in concert in October. That would be so cool :) I can't wait to see them in concert! I just figured out how to add video clips to my blog, so this is the one I picked since God has given me an sister Karen :)

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.....feel free to leave a comment as I love reading them :)

Until I blog again,

Friday, July 22, 2005

I'm Feeling Lucky :)

Last night, my son, dil & granddaughter stopped over to visit again. I have no clue as to what's going on, but I'm not about to complain either as long as I get to see them & my grandbaby :) She's walking around like crazy now, which also means she's getting into anything & everything she can! And my house is no longer 'baby proof'! LOL She kept opening the doors to this one buffet-type cabinet I have, getting a few things out, closing the doors back up, opening them again, putting the things that she got out back inside, closing the doors....this must have gone on for about half an hour. It was so cute :) I'm feeling very lucky & blessed that I'm able to see my granddaughter more often. Now if I just felt lucky enough to win the Mega Millions Lottery tonight ;)

Tonight's picture is of my son, Shawn. I still can't believe he's 19 already! Either time flies by way too fast or I'm getting old.....or both! LOL Although he can drive me crazy sometimes & tends to test my patience quite often, I truly do love him! When Shawn was just 5 years old, his father decided to take his own life & shot himself in the head. Shawn had a really rough time handling what happened. I know that he still misses his father deeply, but at the same time, he also has a wonderful Dad that helped me raise him to be the incredible young man that he is today.

Cassie & I went to Super Walmart today to get groceries as her friend from Traverse City will be coming down tomorrow to spend some time with us. I actually have to drive halfway there to pick her up....we have a place where we meet to do the 'exchanges' when they go to each other's house, so that works out really good. And the best part is, I get to stop by a Hobby Lobby on the way there :) I don't get to Hobby Lobby very often since it's a little over an hour away, but I love that store! Cassie is so excited about Emma coming here.....she even cleaned her room without us having to tell her to do it!

Yesterday, I received an email from a friend that posts on the AOL scrapbooking boards. She was telling me that she lives very close to where the accident was where my sister & brother-in-law were killed. She also said she has seen the cross that is at the crash site & told me that to this day, people still talk about them & the accident. It truly touched my heart when I read her email! And yes, I cried as well. But this time, it was different.....these tears weren't sad tears. They were happy tears. When she told me that people were still talking about them, it was like I left a warm feeling inside of me, just knowing that people do care & that they are remembered. Maybe this was another sign from God? Afterall, I got the email from her shortly after I wrote in my blog yesterday stating that I was tired of being unhappy & that I was making a change. Maybe I'm finally starting to feel my faith. I hope so, cause it sure does feel good :)

Since I have a very long day tomorrow, I'm gonna stop here for now & get some sleep. If you stopped by to read my blog, I'd love it if you left a comment so I know you were here. Afterall, you're getting to know me through my blog & I'd love to find out who you are as well :) Thanks for stopping by.

Until I blog again,

ETA: I just edited this post on July 26th with an updated picture of Shawn as he came over to visit today & let me take his pic :)

Thursday, July 21, 2005

We Are The Champions, My Friends :)

Okay, so you're probably wondering "champions of what?", right? Bowling, that's what :) Last night was the final position round for our summer 9-Pin No-Tap League & we took first place! YAY TEAM! All we needed to do was win 1 of the 3 games to take first, but I'll admit, when we lost the first game, I was starting to get a little worried. But we pulled ourselves together & won the other 2 games. Jim, my hubby (pictured here) bowled an awesome 833 series! But still no 300 game.....try again in the fall, babe :) Although a 300 game in a 9-pin no tap league wouldn't have really meant anything, I know he badly wanted to get one. Now I have to make up the prize list & get the money ready for pay-offs & fun night next week. Then we don't bowl again for a month until the fall leagues start back up. I'm gonna go through withdrawals! :)

If you haven't noticed, I'm in a MUCH better mood today :) Why, you may ask? Well, between yesterday & now, I've been doing a LOT of thinking (see that smoke? ;) Anyway, I've come to realize that I'm just tired of being unhapppy! And the only person that can change that is ME. So that's exactly what I'm doing......changing ME :) I know I will probably still experience some ups & downs in life (don't we all?), but I have finally decided to not let the little things bother me so much anymore. Just like those 10 document boxes that I bought from someone. I paid her for them with a gift card to an online store, but still haven't received the boxes. Come to find out, I'm not the only person that bought some & hasn't received them. So yeah, I'm a little upset that it looks like I got scammed out of $21.00, but I've decided that I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. And what's even funnier.....I realized I don't even need those document boxes anymore since I rearranged my foam stamps the other day. So if I do happen to get them, I'm either going to resell them or better yet, maybe I'll RAK them to someone else. I may keep a couple in case I can think of another use for them....haven't decided for sure yet.

Anyway, I've decided that from now on, whenever I add an entry to my blog, I'm going to add a picture of someone or something that makes me happy, someone or something that I love. And today, that picture is of my very loving, supportive, understanding & hard-working husband, Jim. The love of my life! The apple of my eye! The frosting on my cake ;) Yep, that's him! Jim has been so supportive, not only of my scrapbooking addiction, but also of me. He works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week in order for me to be able to stay at home with our daughter. He shows me his love each & every day by giving me a kiss at 5:00 a.m. before he heads off for work, calling me once he gets to work to let me know he made it there okay (yes, I'm a MAJOR worry-wart! lol), calling me during his lunch break everyday so we can talk for 30 minutes, emailing me occassionally just to say "I love you", giving me a hug & kiss the moment he walks in the door from a long day at work & then rubbing my feet at night whenever I want ;) When God brought the 2 of us together, he knew that we both needed someone to love since we had both just been through difficult divorces with our ex's. The odds were against us from the very one thought our marriage would last more than a year or two. Boy, did we ever show them! We've been together now for over 16 years & married for over 15 1/2 years! We've beaten the odds & will continue doing so because we know that even when we're faced with the up & downhill battles called life, we have a love that will hold us together....forever!

Okay, that's getting a little too mushy even for me! LOL So on that note, I just wanted to say a very special Thank-you to Caro for making my banner for me at the top of my blog. I sent her some pictures & she added the title to them for me because computer dummy me had NO idea how to do that. She also gave me instructions on how to add the banner to my blog. Thanks Caro :) I may change my banner occassionally as I couldn't decide which picture to use. The above picture is the one my daughter's a painting that was on the side of a tractor trailer that I saw when we were driving back from the funeral going through Canada & stuck at the Bluewater Bridge in traffic. My sister Karen collected owls & wolves, so when I saw this truck, it was like it was a sign from her telling me that she's okay. I just know that she would have loved this picture. I decided to change the background color of my blog as well because the pink just didn't go with this banner :)

I hope my blog put a smile on your face today :)

Until I blog again,

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Memories Remain In Your Heart

When my sister & brother-in-law were killed tragically last August, my nephews let my sisters, mom, dad & I go to their house so that we could each get some things to remember them by. I wanted to grab everything! I wanted to take every single piece of my sister with me & cherish it forever! But I knew in my heart that the memory of my sister is inside of me. The rest would be just momentos. While we were there, we each got some of her jewelry (I got a sapphire ring that I wear on my pinky finger & will NEVER take off, along with a few other sapphire pieces since we share the same birthstone) plus I got a Coca-Cola clock & a stained glass owl lamp along with some smaller owls from her collection, a few necklaces, her Tupperware name badge & a t-shirt.....a very special t-shirt to me. It was the t-shirt she wore the last time I saw her in July of 2003 when I went to Pennsylvania. I actually found the t-shirt in the hamper & it was dirty, but there is no way I'm washing it!

I asked Mikey, my nephew, to please let me know when they were going to have the auction for the rest of their things because I would much rather buy them than have a stranger own pieces of my sister. I don't expect them to give the stuff away to us & I know I couldn't buy it all, but I would like to get some more of her things. I already purchased her jewelry armoire because I know that they need money to go towards the estate & all the bills that were left behind.

Over the past several months, I've asked him a couple of times when they were going to have the auction & it kept getting delayed for one reason or another. So I told him to just make sure that he gave me enough of an advance notice so that I could make plans to get there for it since I live over 500 miles away. Well, I get an email from him just now telling me that the auction (which is now just a yard sale) is this weekend!!! And I can't go since I have to drive 4 hours away to pick up my daughter's friend from Traverse City as she's coming down to spend some time with us! I am so disappointed right now :( I just wanna cry! No, I am crying :*(

So now I just keep trying to tell myself that my memories of my sister remain in my heart. While the things I have of her remind me of her, it's what's inside my heart that counts. I made this curio cabinet (in above picture) into a memorial cabinet for Karen & Jimmy. It has all of the things in it that I did get that day along with some pictures of them & a baggie of dirt that I got from their gravesite, which I will be taking back to the gravesite with me on August 29th (one year date of the accident). It's some sort of Indian tradition that one of Jimmy's friends told me about. He said that you're supposed to mourn their deaths for one year & then on the 1 year date of their deaths, you take the dirt & sprinkle it back onto their graves & the mourning is supposed to stop. I doubt that I will ever stop mourning because not a single day goes by that I don't think about them & shed a tear :*(

Off to cry myself to sleep now,
P.S. If anyone's even reading my blog, I apologize for the downer post today. Hopefully next time I blog, I'll have something happier to write about.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Strawberry Smooches

Tonight, very unexpectedly, my son, dil & granddaughter stopped by to visit. Talk about being shocked! Guess I should mention that they usually only call or come over when they either want money or a babysitter, so needless to say, this was a very welcomed surprise. And, of course, being the grandma that I am, I had to get my camera out & snap some pics since I don't get to see my granddaughter very often. Here her mom is giving her a strawberry.....she wasn't sure how to react to it at first, which is why she has the funny face. But she must have liked it because she kept going back for more. So I ended up sending them home with some strawberries, but I bet my son eats most of them, lol. I also got a nice strawberry smooch before they left :) Jim & I were planning on having a quiet evening at home just watching a movie, but this was so much better!

Yesterday was somewhat dd decided to try to trim her hair herself & she was doing fine with it, until she tried to trim the back. Her hair is very short as it is, but when she tried cutting the back, she cut a little too close to her scalp. She didn't cut herself, but I had to take her somewhere to get the cut fixed & luckily, her hair grows FAST! Our regular hairstylist is only in town once a month now since he moved back to Chicago, so it won't be until the first weekend in August til she sees him. It's not very often that my dd cries, but she did when this happened. I asked her if I could scrapbook it, but she won't let me, darn it! Oh well, she said she did learn her lesson, so that's a good thing.

I didn't get much sleep last night as we had thunderstorms come through early this morning & I can NOT sleep through them! It must have stormed for almost 3 hours straight. We needed the rain though, so I can't complain too much....gotta give my water bill a break from running the sprinklers twice a day since we have so much sand in our soil.

I guess that's it for now. Til I blog again,

Thursday, July 14, 2005

A Raccoon Enters The Picture.....Literally!

Today, my dd & I went to the mall to do some shopping & then my dh met us at Target when he got off work at 6:00pm. After picking up a few school supplies & groceries at Target, we decided to just go out for dinner since it was getting late, so we went to one of our favorite fast food restaurants, Steak & Shake. I just love their cheese fries & the Chocolate Chip Shakes Alive (I think that's what it's called) milkshake with chocolate fudge added. Yeah, yeah, I know, they aren't helping my diet any, but they sure are good :)

On the way home, we stopped at Sam's Club to get gas in both of our vehicles before the price goes up even more this weekend. As we were leaving Sam's parking lot, my dd saw this raccoon sitting in the parking lot eating spaghetti. Luckily, I actually had my camera with me this time (learned my lesson the hard way from not having it with me the night we ran into 2 Detroit Pistons players (Ben Wallace & Tayshaun Prince) at the movie theater!), so I snapped this pic. It looked like it was just a little baby raccoon & the first one my dd has ever seen (alive, that is.....she's seen plenty of them as roadkill before, lol). There was another lady & her kids sitting in their car watching it eat, too. Since my zoom on this camera isn't too good, I decided to get out of my car & try to get a closer picture of him....bad move! As soon as I got out, he took off & went underneath the other lady's Durango. I thought it was just going to sit there, but then the next thing I know, it crawled up inside the rim of her tire & then underneath her vehicle! We were trying to find where he went, but we couldn't see him. She didn't know what to do & neither did I. I told her to try moving the car & see if he'd come out, but he didn't. Finally, she just decided to leave. Now I'm wondering what happened to him.....did he fall off & get hit? Did he go home with her? Does she have a new pet? ;) Just another thing that happened in my life that I will never know the ending result to. Isn't it weird how there tend to be things that happen in our lives, but sometimes, we never find out why they happen? Or what the end result was? Think about it.....I bet you'll see what I mean.

When I got home, I had a package waiting for me from a memorial swap I was in, along with some CTMH items that I ordered & the new CTMH catalog. There are SO many new things that I just 'have to have'! If you're a scrapbooker like me, you'll completely understand that need to 'have' things ;) I also got some bills in the mail, which I didn't 'have to have', lol.

Ah well, it's been a long day & since I stayed up WAY too late last night, I think I'll actually try to go to bed a little earlier tonight.

Till I blog again,


Bowling? So that's what you call what I did tonight??

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother bowling after nights like tonight. I just could not do anything right tonight! I know I wasn't concentrating at all, which is probably the main reason why I bowled so bad. And now because of my bad bowling, we haven't clinched first place yet like we should have :( We had a chance to do it tonight.....all we would have had to do was win 3 points, but NO! We only won 2, which means next week we have to win at least one game to take first place. Right now, we're 7 points ahead of the 2nd place team & if we happen to lose all 7 points next week, then that means we'll have to do a roll-off, which will stink because the following week is supposed to be our fun night & payoffs. And with me being the secretary/treasurer of the league, I have to have all the places ready to be paid off. I really wanted to take some lessons this summer, but that hasn't happened yet & won't now either since the bowling center will be closed for all of August for renovations. Maybe I just need a break from bowling so when the fall leagues start back up in September, I can try to concentrate better. Yep, that's the ticket ;)

Anyway, while we were at bowling, I got a call from my dil, Toni. Once again, she was upset & crying because of something my son did. So after I got home from bowling, I decided to take a drive over to their apartment to try to talk to both of them. That didn't go too good, though. I just really feel like a failure of a mother sometimes :( My son is smoking & drinking & won't even hardly look me in the eyes anymore when I talk to him. I just don't get it.....where did I go wrong? I know, he's an adult now & can make his own decisions (or should I say mistakes), but he sure has a lot of growing up to do still!

While I was there, Toni showed me some pictures of her when she was a baby & oh my GOSH, I definitely see where my granddaughter got her looks from! I kinda wish I would have asked her if I could make some copies of the picture to scrapbook them with pictures of my granddaughter. I couldn't believe how much they look alike! I think I will call her tomorrow & see if I can get copies of them.....would make the perfect scrapbook page :)

The picture I posted tonight was actually taken by my 14 yo dd a few months ago over at the old apartment complex that my ds & dil used to live in. She took several pictures of the lake & trees that day. When I saw them, I told her that she needs to seriously consider becoming a photographer. She's always been into drawing, so maybe this is another creative outlet for her to jump on. Who knows.....maybe one day I'll make a scrapbooker out of her yet ;) Sometimes seeing the world through a child's eyes is all we ever really need!

On that thought, I'm off to bed.

Till I blog again,


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Awwww ;)

If you visit my blog, I would love it if you would leave a comment & let me know that you've dropped by. I know my blog may not be the most exciting blog in the world, but if you're reading it, it mustn't be that boring, huh? :)

The picture of the heart was taken in downtown Detroit this past Valentine's's actually lights on the side of a building to form the how romantic is that? I've been a little depressed today, so I thought maybe posting this picture of the heart would cheer me up a little. The day I saw it, my dh & I were driving my brother-in-law around downtown Detroit as he's a truck driver & he had a load to pick up here in Michigan. So we took a drive downtown to show him some of the sites since he has never been here before. When my dh & I saw this heart, he immediately grabbed my hand to hold it. That's when you saw "Awwww" :)

Okay, enough of the smooshy stuff for now, lol. Here's a little quiz I found on someone else's blog that I thought I would do in mine. It was a lot of fun answering these questions.

LAYER ONE: On The Outside-
Name: Benita
Nicknames: Benny, Bo, Ben, Grammy
Birthdate: September 5th
Birthplace: Royal Oak, Michigan
Current Location: Back in Michigan
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Medium Brown
Height: 5'10"
Righty or Lefty: Righty married to a Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Religion: Baptist
Sex: Of course ;)

LAYER TWO: In The Inside-
Your heritage: German/Pennsylvania Dutch
The shoes you wore today: Birkenstock sandals
Who you look like: My sister Karen
Your weakness: Being a pessimest too often
Your fears: Something happening to my dh, heights, spiders, bees, wasps.
Your perfect pizza: Extra cheese & bacon, light sauce
Goal you'd like to achieve: Become an Interior Designer

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow-
Your thoughts first waking up: I gotta go potty
Your best physical feature: My eyes
Your bedtime: Depends on whether or not I'm in the mood to scrap. If I am, then whenever I'm done (explains why I'm still up now, lol). If not, then around 11:30-12:00
Your most missed memory: My childhood

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick-
Pepsi or Coke: Neither....water for me
McDonalds or Burger King: Neither again.....Steak & Shake
Single or group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: Neither....Rykas
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, most definitely!
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.....Chocolate milk

Smoke: Nope, can't stand the smell!
Curse: Too much :(
Sing: In the car while I'm driving
Have had a crush(es): Yep, who hasn't?
Think you've been in love: I am now :)
Want to get married: Liked it so much, I did it 4 times ;)
Believe in yourself: Sometimes.....another fault I'm working on changing
Motion sickness: Only when my dh is driving
Think you're attractive: So-so.....less now than when I was younger
Think you're a health freak: Me??? You're kidding, right? :)
Get along with your parents: Sometimes.....just recently reconnected with my Dad after not having him in my life for over 30 years :)
Like thunderstorms: Nope....they scare the crap out of me!
Play an instrument: Used to take violen lessons....wish I would have stuck with it

LAYER SIX: Have you ever...
Gone to the mall?: Mall? Did someone mention shopping??? ;)
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: A long time ago, maybe
Eaten sushi: EWWWW! Heck no!
Been on stage: Not that I can remember, but then again, I don't remember much about my childhood
Gone skating: Yep, used to love roller skating
Gone skinny dipping: Yep ;)
Stolen anything: Not me personally, but my sister did & then gave me her purse that she put it in.....hey, we were dumb kids at the time
Been caught "doing something": Yep, btdt
Been called a tease: No
Gotten beaten up: No
Shoplifted: See above under stolen anything

LAYER SEVEN: Getting Older-
Age you hope to be married: This is it! I'm not gonna do it again!
Numbers and Names of Children: 2 - Shawn (19) & Cassandra (15)
Describe your dream wedding: A real one, something I haven't had yet
How do you want to die: I don't :(
What do you want to be when you grow up: What I am now....a wife, mom & grandma
What country would you most like to visit: Australia

LAYER NINE: In a partner-
Best eye color?: Bluish-Green that changes with his moods (hey, that's my dh! :)
Best hair color?: Brown
Short or long hair: Short
Height: 5'9" & above
Best articles of clothing: Polo shirts

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...-
Number of drugs taken illegally: Tried pot once, that was it
Number of CDs that you own: Wow, I don't think I want to count them all
Number of piercings: 2 in each ear
Number of tattoos: One on my right souvenior of Athens, Greece
Number of times your name has appeared in the newspaper: I honestly don't have a clue

Well, that's it for tonight. Remember, feel free to drop me a comment & let me know you visited my blog.

Till I blog again,

Monday, July 11, 2005

Deep Thoughts

I've been having a lot of deep thoughts lately, most of them having to do with the deaths of my sister & brother-in-law last August. I keep asking God "why them?" "Why did this happen to them?" I was lying in my bed this morning after Jim left for work & just burst into tears because I miss them so much! I just wish I could talk to Karen again & tell her how much I love her & miss her. Just for a more second.....please?

I've also been questioning my faith a lot lately......don't know if that's a bad thing or not. I mean, I just don't understand why something like this would happen to people like them. But yet, there are so many evil people in the world....murderers, rapists, terrorists.....why couldn't it have been them instead??? Why Karen & Jimmy? Why? There were such good people.....they did so much for their community & for others. Jimmy was a volunteer firefighter & risked his own life to save others. Karen did a lot of volunteering in their small hometown plus she was one of the top Tupperware Sales Reps & both of them volunteered with the American Red Cross. Why does something like this happen to people that gave so much of themselves to others? Why, why, WHY??? I just wish I knew for sure that they were both in Heaven & that I will be able to see them again one day. I just wish I knew for certain that there is a Heaven. Please don't flame me for having these thoughts.....afterall, they are my thoughts. I've never really been 100% convinced about my faith.....maybe I need to start attending church again or at the very least, start reading the Bible.

One thing that I seem to be seeing a lot of lately since their deaths is double rainbows, like the one pictured above. I took this picture from my front porch one afternoon. We had gotten some pretty bad storms come through & I was sitting on my couch when I saw the sun starting to come out. I ran to grab my camera because I just knew that there had to be a rainbow somewhere & this is what I saw when I opened the front door. Maybe it's a sign from God that Karen & Jimmy are okay, I don't know. I'd really like to believe that it is. I keep asking God for signs.....something, anything, to let me know that they are okay & that they miss me as much as I miss them. Maybe, just maybe, this was one of them.

Oh well, back to thinking.

Till I blog again,

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I'm Pooped, but it was SO worth it!

Tonight, we went out to dinner with 4 of our friends & then came back to our house to visit. But first, it meant that I had to clean the house, so that's what I spent the whole morning & afternoon doing. It really wasn't all that dirty to start with, but I wanted it to be spotless! Sometimes I wish I could hire a maid to just come in & do the cleaning for me, but unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Ah well, I'm pooped, but it was SO worth it! We had so much fun tonight, just talking & laughing really feels good to have close friends....something I never really had growing up!

So now that my house is all clean (see pic of my kitchen above), I think I'll get out & do some shopping tomorrow . Got some JoAnn's coupons that are burning a hole in my wallet just wanting to be used . Afterwards, I'll probably try to do some scrapping as I just received some new KI Memories paper plus some Heidi Swapp embellishments in the mail today, not to mention that I still have my July Scrap Goods kit to play with.

Looks like this is going to be a short blog tonight as I'm tired & gonna head to bed now.

Til I blog again,

Friday, July 08, 2005

Just Another Day, Just Another Blog

Nothing much has happened in the past couple of days for me to even blog about, so I thought I would do this questionnaire that I've seen on some other blogs:

Three Things That Scare Me
1. Bees, Wasps & Spiders....maybe I should just say all bugs! :)
2. Tornados & thunderstorms
3. Losing my husband

Three People That Make Me Laugh
1. My husband Jim
2. George Carlin
3. Gallagher

Three Things I Love
1. Scrapbooking
2. Bowling
3. Decorating My Home

Three Things I Don't Like
1. Dishonest people
2. Drunk drivers
3. Vacuuming the stairs

Three Things On My Desk
1. My PictureMate
2. My BBB from Scrap Goods
3. The new Stampin' Up Catalog

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now
1. Typing the answers to this questionnaire
2. Checking out the jewelry on
3. Blogging

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Go skydiving, even though I'm afraid of heights!
2. Drive around a race track in a Nascar race car
3. Become an Interior Designer

Three Things I Can Do Well
1. Organize my scraproom
2. Bowl (sometimes)
3. Scrapbook (sometimes)

Three Ways To Describe My Personality
1. Perfectionist
2. Too serious at times
3. Pessimist, although I'm working on changing that to be an optimist.

Three Things I Can't Do
1. Sew very well
2. Cook very well
3. Snap my fingers or whistle

Three Of My Absolute Favorite Foods
1. Pizza
2. Homemade Mac & Cheese
3. Ice Cream

Three Things I'd Like To Improve
1. My bowling
2. My scrapbooking
3. Myself

Three Beverages I Drink Daily
1. NesQuik with breakfast
2. Water
3. Grape Juice

Three Shows I Watched When I Was A Kid
1. The Brady Bunch
2. The Flintstones
3. Bugs Bunny

There ya have it.....that about sums me up. Pretty boring, huh?

Till I blog again,

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Happy 4th (alittle late)

The 4th was pretty boring since Jim had to work 12 hours (gotta love that triple time ;), but we were able to see some fireworks from our porch. Every year, one of the neighbors in our subdivision sets off fireworks over the lake. We didn't have the best view, but I was still able to snap a few pictures.....this is one of them. I spent most of the day scrapbooking & then Jim cooked out on the grill when he got home from work.

I'm actually just glad that the 4th is over with because my dogs have been going nuts. The whole weekend, people were setting off fireworks in the neighborhood & we could NOT get the dogs to go outside! We almost had to carry them out just to get them to go to the bathroom. Yep, I have 2 whimpy mutts! Ah well, gotta love 'em :)

Well, nothing much else is new, so this is going to be a short entry.

Till I blog again,


Friday, July 01, 2005

2 Blogs?

Although I already have a blog on Scrap Submit, I decided to try another site that seems easier to work with & this one looks like it has more features, too. I figure I'll do this one as my personal blog & the Scrap Submit one as my scrapping for me :)

Anyway, today is Friday, the 1st of July.....hard to believe it's July already! This summer if flying by WAY too fast! But isn't that the way it always is? The summer's go by fast & winter seems to last forever & a day! I love the longer days during the much more time to get things done outside & enjoy the weather, like I plan on doing this weekend because it's supposed to be absolutely gorgeous here in Michigan all weekend. Even though my dh will be working OT, we're still planning on doing some gardening, mulching the rest of our flower beds & planting some more shrubs. Every year, I keep saying that I'm done buying new plants, but then once the summer gets here, I'm off to Wojo's Garden Center to buy some more :) I want to replace my Hibiscus that aren't doing very good anymore. The above picture is of my Clematis.....they bloomed really good this year. I just love the deep, rich purple color of them.

Last week, my dh & I planted a rose garden in memory of my sister & brother-in-law. They're the reason I came up with this name for my blog. On Eagle's Wings was the song played at their funeral. They were both tragically killed in a motorcycle accident on August 29, 2004 when a girl driving in a car crossed over into their lane & hit them head on. They both died instantly. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 months since the accident :( Not a day goes by that I don't think about them & cry. Karen, my sister, was more than just a sister to me.....she was my best friend! We shared our most intimate secrets with each other & I truly miss that!

Okay, now that I'm done shedding another tear from writing that, I guess I'll stop here for now.

Until I blog again,