Warning: this blog post is going to be somewhat depressing, so don't say that I didn't warn you in advance.
Right now, I feel like a total failure! Remember that job that I interviewed for & was offered? Well, after lots & LOTS of deliberation.....I didn't take it. There are so many reasons behind my decision.
For one, the pay.....$8.00 an hour. If you count my free gym membership, I make more than that an hour working at the gym!
Two.....the hours.....Mondays & Thursdays, I would have had to work 9:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m., so basically 2 days a week, my whole day would have been spent at work. Then Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Fridays, the hours were from 9:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. so after my bowling league is finished this season, they told me that I wouldn't have been able to bowl in the league next year. I love that league & really can't imagine not bowling in it! I also would have had to quit working at the gym, not to mention the fact that I don't know how I would have fit exercising into my schedule. I'm not done losing all the weight yet & I'm not about to give up now, either!
Third.....the drive......25-30 miles one way. I probably could have handled the drive because I do love driving, but I also think it would have gotten old after a while. Not to mention the gas costs, the wear & tear on my car, etc.
Fourth, and probably the main reason......my health! I got the test results back from my doctor & 2 of them came back positive that I do indeed have some sort of inflammatory disease. The question still remains.....what disease is it? Is it RA? Or something else? I have an appointment on the 25th with a Rheumatologist & hopefully, I will get some answers when I see her. Until then, I never know when this is going to flare up on me. It started again last week & my doctor gave me an anti-inflammatory drug which is helping, but I just feel like I can't make any commitments until I can get this, whatever it is, under control. Luckily, my current job has been very understanding! For that, I am extremely thankful!
So while I do feel like a failure right now for not giving this opportunity a chance, I gotta keep telling myself that I did the right thing......the right thing for me.....the right thing for my family.....the right thing for my health! I did!