Friday, August 29, 2008

On Eagle's Wings

It was 4 years ago today that I lost my sister Karen & brother-in-law Jimmy. Four years ago that changed my life forever. A day that I will never forget & wish never happened. Lots of tears have been shed since that day & will continue to be shed throughout the years. Unanswered questions will never be answered.....where were they going that day? Why did this happen to them? Why didn't that girl pull over if she had a bee in her car (as she claims)? What were their last words? Last thoughts? Were they in any pain?

So many things go through my mind when I think about that day. The disheartening phone call from my sister Donna.....I remember it like it was just yesterday! First, she asked me if Jim was at work & I said he was. Then she told me to sit down & that she had some bad news. The first thing I thought of was something happened to Mom or Dad. I already had tears swelling up inside of me before I heard those words "Karen & Jimmy were in an accident." The next 3 words "they didn't survive." I immediately lost it. I started screaming, crying, shaking as Donna was trying to calm me down from 500 miles away. She told me that she was going to hang up & she wanted me to call Jim right away & have him come home to be with me. She kept asking me to promise her that I would call him. I don't even know what I said to Jim or how he even managed to understand me at the time. The next half hour was a blank to me until he got home.
There must have been over 1,000 people that came to the viewing to pay their respects. Karen & Jimmy were both well known in their town. They would have done anything to help anyone. The funeral was beautiful. The 'arch' made by 2 fire trucks to honor Jimmy, a volunteer fireman. Traffic at a standstill, awaiting the long line of cars to go through the procession.

The pair of crosses along the road where the accident took place. Still standing 4 years later. Each year, new flowers are placed at the crosses. Each year, the names are darken in as they fade over time.

I sit here crying as I'm trying to type this. Looking at their picture. Wearing Karen's sapphire ring on my finger (which never comes off my hand!). Dreading this day each & every year. They say time heals all wounds. I'm not so sure that I completely believe that.

If you have a sister, give her a hug. Tell her that you love her. Tell her what she means to you because you just never know....one day, that chance may not be there anymore. Life is too short!

In Loving Memory Forever
Karen & Jimmy Lucas
August 29, 2004
On Eagle's Wings

18 comments:

Heaven said...

Benita, I am so sorry for your loss! My heart goes out to you on this very difficult day!

Kim said...

Hugs to you, Benita. I can't believe it's been four years already. I'll be thinking and praying for you today.

hpoormon said...

Benita, I am so sorry for your terible loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my Mom and each year on that day I would cry and cry. I could just not function. My husband suggested doing something creative about it. So, every year on that day, I scrapbook a memory or a picture I might have found. Some kind of memory about that person that brought me joy. That may that certyain memory some day won't die with me it will live on in that album. Does taht make sense? Did I explain that correctly. It has been 9 years now, and still very tough on certain days. But, I chose to make a beautiful memory of the person for all to see. Sometimes the scrapbooking paper gets warped from my tears, but that is all part of the healing. Good Luck and God Bless you Benita.

Linda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Benita. I'm sending out hugs and thoughts of peace to you.

Michelle said...

Benita, I'm so sorry. I remember you posting that over on the aol s/b board when it happened and how distraught you understandably were. Maybe time doesn't completely heal the wounds but makes it easier for you to honor their memories and share with the rest of the world and maybe help someone get over some silly tiff with a family member because they read your story and it moves them to reconnect with their own loved one. Hugs to you.

Lorrie said...

{{{hugs}}} Benita. I like the comment above about remembering the joy they brought. Try her suggestion.. it sounds like a great idea!

Sarah C. said...

Benita, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you today and sending ((HUGS)).

toners said...

Thinking of you today, Benita, and sending you lots of (((hugs))). I am so very sorry :(

Sue said...

thinking of you and sending you hugs!

SenomesDesigns said...

Benita, we've seen a lot of Aug 29ths come and go, and my heart aches for you each year. This year (and you know why) it aches my heart even more. Love you girlfriend!

Jewls

Staci Compher said...

Benita...I am thinking of you tonight....

Kip said...

I'm so sorry Benita and wish I could do more.

emily said...

Thinking of you this weekend...I will give my sister (and family for that matter) a big hug...thank you for this reminder.

Emily said...

Hugs to you Benita!

Stacy said...

Four years can seem like yesterday...or an enternity. Sending peace and {hugs} to you as you deal with this horrible event; my heart breaks for you.

Sherry said...

Hey there girl. What a beautiful memorial. Thanks for sharing and thanks for leaving a comment on my blog.

Much Love!

Janet said...

I am so sorry for you. What a terrible tragedy for your family and community. Having lost my mom suddenly three months ago, I can understand the pain of sudden loss. Sending {hugs} your way.

Darcey said...

So sorry for your loss. May you never forget the beautiful memories that you have of Karen and Jimmy. You do a beautiful job of remembering them. Hugs!