Monday, December 12, 2005


14 years ago today, my ex-husband Ron & father to my son Shawn took his own life. Why? No one really knows. He didn't leave any suicide notes. All we know is that he got into a fight with his girlfriend & told her that if she left, he was going to kill himself. Well, she left the apartment, he pulled out his gun & ended his life. He was only 26 years old at the time.

Each & every year, I dread when this day arrives! As I try to get into the spirit of the holidays, it's really hard knowing that he committed suicide so close to Christmas. I can't even put my anger & emotions into words. Our son Shawn is working in the Baltimore area right now & he's going to go visit Ron's gravesite today. I so wish I could be there with him right now! What Ron did was selfish & he doesn't realize how much he has hurt the people that love him!

Suicide is NOT the answer! And sadly, too many people commit suicide during the month of December more than any other month of the year! It's supposed to be a happy month, a month to celebrate, but instead, people get depressed & think that suicide is the easy way out. Well, let me tell you, it's not! The people you leave behind will hurt for YEARS to come! My son & I are living proof of that! Yeah, even though he was my ex-husband at the time, he will always hold a special place in my heart!

Sorry for the downer blog entry today.....I just felt like I needed to 'document' this moment. I miss you, Ron!



Corinnexxx said...

hi sweetie, sending you a hug and wanted to tell you that I think of you! will light a candle for him tonight


Wendy Reed (Wishin4MoreTime) said...

Oh Benita!! Super gigantic hugs to both you and your son. I am sure your son understands you can't be there, but will feel you with him every step of the way!!

Tracy said...

I am sorry. This must be very difficult. You're in my thoughts today.

Karen Carter said...

So sorry for your family's losses. So much tragedy for you in December. : {

Cindy Lee said...

huge HUGS to you!!! so sorry that you have this awful memory at, what should be, a joyous time! You and your son will be in my prayers tonight! hugs, Cindy Lee

Janelle said...

honey- i am so sorry! HUGS and prayers to you and yours!

LL said...

You know I have been in the same situation with my mom- so my thoughts are with you.