ChChChChanges!

This may very well be my final blog entry. Why? Many reasons, really. My life has gone through numerous changes in just the past 2 weeks....some of them which I still don't know how to handle. But I've been doing a LOT of thinking about how I've been spending my life & realized that I cannot continue on the way I am right now. The path I'm on is going to end.....the hours I spend online, the hours I spend neglecting myself, my family & my home.....it's all going to stop! NOW! It has to stop! I'm 43 years old & feel like a nobody right now. I need to do something with my life & NOW is the time to do it! Now the question is.....what? I'm praying that God will help me find that answer.

The main drastic change on the homefront has been money. Jim's overtime hours have been dramatically cut, so things are really tight for us financially right now. I'm going to start looking for a job myself next week. The problem is, finding one! Everyone lays people off after the holidays, so it's not going to be easy. Wish me luck!

Well, it's final.....my son is getting a divorce. Two weeks ago, he called me & asked if he could stay with us for a little while as his wife & mother-in-law kicked him out of the house. What else could I do but say yes? I mean, I couldn't let my son be homeless & live out on the streets, could I? Did I make the right decision? I still don't know. I know that I've been under a LOT more stress since he came back home. But this Sunday, he is scheduled to move to DC with the company he works for. I will miss him, but at the same time, I need to get my life back. The part that really stinks about all of this is, unless I take her to court (which I can't afford to do right now.....read above), I'm never going to see my granddaughter :( I haven't seen her since Christmas Day. Toni, Shawn's wife, is being a true b*tch right now! She wouldn't even let Shawn get any of his things.....he finally had to call the police just to be able to get his clothes! That's all they would let him take, yet Jim & I are the ones that bought the computer (before Shawn even met Toni), the tv (for Shawn's birthday 2 years ago), the bed & the digital camera.....all of which Shawn can't get back! So this weekend, Jim & I are going to call the police ourselves & provide the receipts we have proving that we paid for those items & hoping we can get them back. The one police officer I spoke to on the phone told me that it all depends on what police officer they send out to the house whether or not he'll let me get those things. What kind of crap is that??? Welcome to Detroit (which is where the items are) :(

Yesterday, I started having some problems with our new Dell computer & after being on the phone with Dell for over 4 hours throughout the day, talking to people that hardly speak any English, crying because the problem still isn't resolved......it made me realize that I need to stop depending on this computer so much! I rely on it for a lot.....my pictures, my communication, my escape.....my life, really. And that is all going to end! I'm going to start setting a schedule for myself on how much time I am going to allow myself to spend online. And I have to stick with it! One hour in the morning after taking Cassie to school, not before, so I can get up with her, make her breakfast & talk to her every morning. One hour (or less) in the afternoon just to check my email, QVC's lunchtime specials & of course, 2 Peas :). Then 15 minutes at night, before heading to bed....no more staying up till 12:00 or 1:00. I can do this! I WILL do this! And because I'm doing this, I may have to give up my blog. Or if I do decide to keep it, my entries will be a LOT shorter (unlike this one, lol)!

Well, I'm going to stop here for now, but thought I would post a photo of the snow we received the Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday. The Detroit area didn't get as much as we did further north.....we ended up with almost a foot. Dang groundhog anyway! LOL 6 more weeks of winter.....YUCK!







Thanks for reading,
Benita