Memories Remain In Your Heart

When my sister & brother-in-law were killed tragically last August, my nephews let my sisters, mom, dad & I go to their house so that we could each get some things to remember them by. I wanted to grab everything! I wanted to take every single piece of my sister with me & cherish it forever! But I knew in my heart that the memory of my sister is inside of me. The rest would be just momentos. While we were there, we each got some of her jewelry (I got a sapphire ring that I wear on my pinky finger & will NEVER take off, along with a few other sapphire pieces since we share the same birthstone) plus I got a Coca-Cola clock & a stained glass owl lamp along with some smaller owls from her collection, a few necklaces, her Tupperware name badge & a t-shirt.....a very special t-shirt to me. It was the t-shirt she wore the last time I saw her in July of 2003 when I went to Pennsylvania. I actually found the t-shirt in the hamper & it was dirty, but there is no way I'm washing it!

I asked Mikey, my nephew, to please let me know when they were going to have the auction for the rest of their things because I would much rather buy them than have a stranger own pieces of my sister. I don't expect them to give the stuff away to us & I know I couldn't buy it all, but I would like to get some more of her things. I already purchased her jewelry armoire because I know that they need money to go towards the estate & all the bills that were left behind.

Over the past several months, I've asked him a couple of times when they were going to have the auction & it kept getting delayed for one reason or another. So I told him to just make sure that he gave me enough of an advance notice so that I could make plans to get there for it since I live over 500 miles away. Well, I get an email from him just now telling me that the auction (which is now just a yard sale) is this weekend!!! And I can't go since I have to drive 4 hours away to pick up my daughter's friend from Traverse City as she's coming down to spend some time with us! I am so disappointed right now :( I just wanna cry! No, I am crying :*(

So now I just keep trying to tell myself that my memories of my sister remain in my heart. While the things I have of her remind me of her, it's what's inside my heart that counts. I made this curio cabinet (in above picture) into a memorial cabinet for Karen & Jimmy. It has all of the things in it that I did get that day along with some pictures of them & a baggie of dirt that I got from their gravesite, which I will be taking back to the gravesite with me on August 29th (one year date of the accident). It's some sort of Indian tradition that one of Jimmy's friends told me about. He said that you're supposed to mourn their deaths for one year & then on the 1 year date of their deaths, you take the dirt & sprinkle it back onto their graves & the mourning is supposed to stop. I doubt that I will ever stop mourning because not a single day goes by that I don't think about them & shed a tear :*(

Off to cry myself to sleep now,
B
P.S. If anyone's even reading my blog, I apologize for the downer post today. Hopefully next time I blog, I'll have something happier to write about.

Strawberry Smooches

Tonight, very unexpectedly, my son, dil & granddaughter stopped by to visit. Talk about being shocked! Guess I should mention that they usually only call or come over when they either want money or a babysitter, so needless to say, this was a very welcomed surprise. And, of course, being the grandma that I am, I had to get my camera out & snap some pics since I don't get to see my granddaughter very often. Here her mom is giving her a strawberry.....she wasn't sure how to react to it at first, which is why she has the funny face. But she must have liked it because she kept going back for more. So I ended up sending them home with some strawberries, but I bet my son eats most of them, lol. I also got a nice strawberry smooch before they left :) Jim & I were planning on having a quiet evening at home just watching a movie, but this was so much better!

Yesterday was somewhat exciting.....my dd decided to try to trim her hair herself & she was doing fine with it, until she tried to trim the back. Her hair is very short as it is, but when she tried cutting the back, she cut a little too close to her scalp. She didn't cut herself, but I had to take her somewhere to get the cut fixed & luckily, her hair grows FAST! Our regular hairstylist is only in town once a month now since he moved back to Chicago, so it won't be until the first weekend in August til she sees him. It's not very often that my dd cries, but she did when this happened. I asked her if I could scrapbook it, but she won't let me, darn it! Oh well, she said she did learn her lesson, so that's a good thing.

I didn't get much sleep last night as we had thunderstorms come through early this morning & I can NOT sleep through them! It must have stormed for almost 3 hours straight. We needed the rain though, so I can't complain too much....gotta give my water bill a break from running the sprinklers twice a day since we have so much sand in our soil.

I guess that's it for now. Til I blog again,
B

A Raccoon Enters The Picture.....Literally!

Today, my dd & I went to the mall to do some shopping & then my dh met us at Target when he got off work at 6:00pm. After picking up a few school supplies & groceries at Target, we decided to just go out for dinner since it was getting late, so we went to one of our favorite fast food restaurants, Steak & Shake. I just love their cheese fries & the Chocolate Chip Shakes Alive (I think that's what it's called) milkshake with chocolate fudge added. Yeah, yeah, I know, they aren't helping my diet any, but they sure are good :)

On the way home, we stopped at Sam's Club to get gas in both of our vehicles before the price goes up even more this weekend. As we were leaving Sam's parking lot, my dd saw this raccoon sitting in the parking lot eating spaghetti. Luckily, I actually had my camera with me this time (learned my lesson the hard way from not having it with me the night we ran into 2 Detroit Pistons players (Ben Wallace & Tayshaun Prince) at the movie theater!), so I snapped this pic. It looked like it was just a little baby raccoon & the first one my dd has ever seen (alive, that is.....she's seen plenty of them as roadkill before, lol). There was another lady & her kids sitting in their car watching it eat, too. Since my zoom on this camera isn't too good, I decided to get out of my car & try to get a closer picture of him....bad move! As soon as I got out, he took off & went underneath the other lady's Durango. I thought it was just going to sit there, but then the next thing I know, it crawled up inside the rim of her tire & then underneath her vehicle! We were trying to find where he went, but we couldn't see him. She didn't know what to do & neither did I. I told her to try moving the car & see if he'd come out, but he didn't. Finally, she just decided to leave. Now I'm wondering what happened to him.....did he fall off & get hit? Did he go home with her? Does she have a new pet? ;) Just another thing that happened in my life that I will never know the ending result to. Isn't it weird how there tend to be things that happen in our lives, but sometimes, we never find out why they happen? Or what the end result was? Think about it.....I bet you'll see what I mean.

When I got home, I had a package waiting for me from a memorial swap I was in, along with some CTMH items that I ordered & the new CTMH catalog. There are SO many new things that I just 'have to have'! If you're a scrapbooker like me, you'll completely understand that need to 'have' things ;) I also got some bills in the mail, which I didn't 'have to have', lol.

Ah well, it's been a long day & since I stayed up WAY too late last night, I think I'll actually try to go to bed a little earlier tonight.

Till I blog again,

B

Bowling? So that's what you call what I did tonight??

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother bowling after nights like tonight. I just could not do anything right tonight! I know I wasn't concentrating at all, which is probably the main reason why I bowled so bad. And now because of my bad bowling, we haven't clinched first place yet like we should have :( We had a chance to do it tonight.....all we would have had to do was win 3 points, but NO! We only won 2, which means next week we have to win at least one game to take first place. Right now, we're 7 points ahead of the 2nd place team & if we happen to lose all 7 points next week, then that means we'll have to do a roll-off, which will stink because the following week is supposed to be our fun night & payoffs. And with me being the secretary/treasurer of the league, I have to have all the places ready to be paid off. I really wanted to take some lessons this summer, but that hasn't happened yet & won't now either since the bowling center will be closed for all of August for renovations. Maybe I just need a break from bowling so when the fall leagues start back up in September, I can try to concentrate better. Yep, that's the ticket ;)

Anyway, while we were at bowling, I got a call from my dil, Toni. Once again, she was upset & crying because of something my son did. So after I got home from bowling, I decided to take a drive over to their apartment to try to talk to both of them. That didn't go too good, though. I just really feel like a failure of a mother sometimes :( My son is smoking & drinking & won't even hardly look me in the eyes anymore when I talk to him. I just don't get it.....where did I go wrong? I know, he's an adult now & can make his own decisions (or should I say mistakes), but he sure has a lot of growing up to do still!

While I was there, Toni showed me some pictures of her when she was a baby & oh my GOSH, I definitely see where my granddaughter got her looks from! I kinda wish I would have asked her if I could make some copies of the picture to scrapbook them with pictures of my granddaughter. I couldn't believe how much they look alike! I think I will call her tomorrow & see if I can get copies of them.....would make the perfect scrapbook page :)

The picture I posted tonight was actually taken by my 14 yo dd a few months ago over at the old apartment complex that my ds & dil used to live in. She took several pictures of the lake & trees that day. When I saw them, I told her that she needs to seriously consider becoming a photographer. She's always been into drawing, so maybe this is another creative outlet for her to jump on. Who knows.....maybe one day I'll make a scrapbooker out of her yet ;) Sometimes seeing the world through a child's eyes is all we ever really need!

On that thought, I'm off to bed.

Till I blog again,

B

Awwww ;)

If you visit my blog, I would love it if you would leave a comment & let me know that you've dropped by. I know my blog may not be the most exciting blog in the world, but if you're reading it, it mustn't be that boring, huh? :)

The picture of the heart was taken in downtown Detroit this past Valentine's Day....it's actually lights on the side of a building to form the heart.....now how romantic is that? I've been a little depressed today, so I thought maybe posting this picture of the heart would cheer me up a little. The day I saw it, my dh & I were driving my brother-in-law around downtown Detroit as he's a truck driver & he had a load to pick up here in Michigan. So we took a drive downtown to show him some of the sites since he has never been here before. When my dh & I saw this heart, he immediately grabbed my hand to hold it. That's when you saw "Awwww" :)

Okay, enough of the smooshy stuff for now, lol. Here's a little quiz I found on someone else's blog that I thought I would do in mine. It was a lot of fun answering these questions.

LAYER ONE: On The Outside-
Name: Benita
Nicknames: Benny, Bo, Ben, Grammy
Birthdate: September 5th
Birthplace: Royal Oak, Michigan
Current Location: Back in Michigan
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Medium Brown
Height: 5'10"
Righty or Lefty: Righty married to a Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Religion: Baptist
Sex: Of course ;)

LAYER TWO: In The Inside-
Your heritage: German/Pennsylvania Dutch
The shoes you wore today: Birkenstock sandals
Who you look like: My sister Karen
Your weakness: Being a pessimest too often
Your fears: Something happening to my dh, heights, spiders, bees, wasps.
Your perfect pizza: Extra cheese & bacon, light sauce
Goal you'd like to achieve: Become an Interior Designer

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow-
Your thoughts first waking up: I gotta go potty
Your best physical feature: My eyes
Your bedtime: Depends on whether or not I'm in the mood to scrap. If I am, then whenever I'm done (explains why I'm still up now, lol). If not, then around 11:30-12:00
Your most missed memory: My childhood

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick-
Pepsi or Coke: Neither....water for me
McDonalds or Burger King: Neither again.....Steak & Shake
Single or group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: Neither....Rykas
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, most definitely!
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.....Chocolate milk

LAYER FIVE: Do You?-
Smoke: Nope, can't stand the smell!
Curse: Too much :(
Sing: In the car while I'm driving
Have had a crush(es): Yep, who hasn't?
Think you've been in love: I am now :)
Want to get married: Liked it so much, I did it 4 times ;)
Believe in yourself: Sometimes.....another fault I'm working on changing
Motion sickness: Only when my dh is driving
Think you're attractive: So-so.....less now than when I was younger
Think you're a health freak: Me??? You're kidding, right? :)
Get along with your parents: Sometimes.....just recently reconnected with my Dad after not having him in my life for over 30 years :)
Like thunderstorms: Nope....they scare the crap out of me!
Play an instrument: Used to take violen lessons....wish I would have stuck with it

LAYER SIX: Have you ever...
Gone to the mall?: Mall? Did someone mention shopping??? ;)
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: A long time ago, maybe
Eaten sushi: EWWWW! Heck no!
Been on stage: Not that I can remember, but then again, I don't remember much about my childhood
Gone skating: Yep, used to love roller skating
Gone skinny dipping: Yep ;)
Stolen anything: Not me personally, but my sister did & then gave me her purse that she put it in.....hey, we were dumb kids at the time
Been caught "doing something": Yep, btdt
Been called a tease: No
Gotten beaten up: No
Shoplifted: See above under stolen anything

LAYER SEVEN: Getting Older-
Age you hope to be married: This is it! I'm not gonna do it again!
Numbers and Names of Children: 2 - Shawn (19) & Cassandra (15)
Describe your dream wedding: A real one, something I haven't had yet
How do you want to die: I don't :(
What do you want to be when you grow up: What I am now....a wife, mom & grandma
What country would you most like to visit: Australia

LAYER NINE: In a partner-
Best eye color?: Bluish-Green that changes with his moods (hey, that's my dh! :)
Best hair color?: Brown
Short or long hair: Short
Height: 5'9" & above
Best articles of clothing: Polo shirts

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...-
Number of drugs taken illegally: Tried pot once, that was it
Number of CDs that you own: Wow, I don't think I want to count them all
Number of piercings: 2 in each ear
Number of tattoos: One on my right ankle.....my souvenior of Athens, Greece
Number of times your name has appeared in the newspaper: I honestly don't have a clue

Well, that's it for tonight. Remember, feel free to drop me a comment & let me know you visited my blog.

Till I blog again,
B

Deep Thoughts

I've been having a lot of deep thoughts lately, most of them having to do with the deaths of my sister & brother-in-law last August. I keep asking God "why them?" "Why did this happen to them?" I was lying in my bed this morning after Jim left for work & just burst into tears because I miss them so much! I just wish I could talk to Karen again & tell her how much I love her & miss her. Just for a second.....one more second.....please?

I've also been questioning my faith a lot lately......don't know if that's a bad thing or not. I mean, I just don't understand why something like this would happen to people like them. But yet, there are so many evil people in the world....murderers, rapists, terrorists.....why couldn't it have been them instead??? Why Karen & Jimmy? Why? There were such good people.....they did so much for their community & for others. Jimmy was a volunteer firefighter & risked his own life to save others. Karen did a lot of volunteering in their small hometown plus she was one of the top Tupperware Sales Reps & both of them volunteered with the American Red Cross. Why does something like this happen to people that gave so much of themselves to others? Why, why, WHY??? I just wish I knew for sure that they were both in Heaven & that I will be able to see them again one day. I just wish I knew for certain that there is a Heaven. Please don't flame me for having these thoughts.....afterall, they are my thoughts. I've never really been 100% convinced about my faith.....maybe I need to start attending church again or at the very least, start reading the Bible.

One thing that I seem to be seeing a lot of lately since their deaths is double rainbows, like the one pictured above. I took this picture from my front porch one afternoon. We had gotten some pretty bad storms come through & I was sitting on my couch when I saw the sun starting to come out. I ran to grab my camera because I just knew that there had to be a rainbow somewhere & this is what I saw when I opened the front door. Maybe it's a sign from God that Karen & Jimmy are okay, I don't know. I'd really like to believe that it is. I keep asking God for signs.....something, anything, to let me know that they are okay & that they miss me as much as I miss them. Maybe, just maybe, this was one of them.

Oh well, back to thinking.

Till I blog again,
B

I'm Pooped, but it was SO worth it!

Tonight, we went out to dinner with 4 of our friends & then came back to our house to visit. But first, it meant that I had to clean the house, so that's what I spent the whole morning & afternoon doing. It really wasn't all that dirty to start with, but I wanted it to be spotless! Sometimes I wish I could hire a maid to just come in & do the cleaning for me, but unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Ah well, I'm pooped, but it was SO worth it! We had so much fun tonight, just talking & laughing together....it really feels good to have close friends....something I never really had growing up!

So now that my house is all clean (see pic of my kitchen above), I think I'll get out & do some shopping tomorrow . Got some JoAnn's coupons that are burning a hole in my wallet just wanting to be used . Afterwards, I'll probably try to do some scrapping as I just received some new KI Memories paper plus some Heidi Swapp embellishments in the mail today, not to mention that I still have my July Scrap Goods kit to play with.

Looks like this is going to be a short blog tonight as I'm tired & gonna head to bed now.

Til I blog again,
B

Just Another Day, Just Another Blog

Nothing much has happened in the past couple of days for me to even blog about, so I thought I would do this questionnaire that I've seen on some other blogs:

Three Things That Scare Me
1. Bees, Wasps & Spiders....maybe I should just say all bugs! :)
2. Tornados & thunderstorms
3. Losing my husband

Three People That Make Me Laugh
1. My husband Jim
2. George Carlin
3. Gallagher

Three Things I Love
1. Scrapbooking
2. Bowling
3. Decorating My Home

Three Things I Don't Like
1. Dishonest people
2. Drunk drivers
3. Vacuuming the stairs

Three Things On My Desk
1. My PictureMate
2. My BBB from Scrap Goods
3. The new Stampin' Up Catalog

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now
1. Typing the answers to this questionnaire
2. Checking out the jewelry on SilverJewelyClub.com
3. Blogging

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Go skydiving, even though I'm afraid of heights!
2. Drive around a race track in a Nascar race car
3. Become an Interior Designer

Three Things I Can Do Well
1. Organize my scraproom
2. Bowl (sometimes)
3. Scrapbook (sometimes)

Three Ways To Describe My Personality
1. Perfectionist
2. Too serious at times
3. Pessimist, although I'm working on changing that to be an optimist.

Three Things I Can't Do
1. Sew very well
2. Cook very well
3. Snap my fingers or whistle

Three Of My Absolute Favorite Foods
1. Pizza
2. Homemade Mac & Cheese
3. Ice Cream

Three Things I'd Like To Improve
1. My bowling
2. My scrapbooking
3. Myself

Three Beverages I Drink Daily
1. NesQuik with breakfast
2. Water
3. Grape Juice

Three Shows I Watched When I Was A Kid
1. The Brady Bunch
2. The Flintstones
3. Bugs Bunny

There ya have it.....that about sums me up. Pretty boring, huh?

Till I blog again,
B

Happy 4th (alittle late)

The 4th was pretty boring since Jim had to work 12 hours (gotta love that triple time ;), but we were able to see some fireworks from our porch. Every year, one of the neighbors in our subdivision sets off fireworks over the lake. We didn't have the best view, but I was still able to snap a few pictures.....this is one of them. I spent most of the day scrapbooking & then Jim cooked out on the grill when he got home from work.

I'm actually just glad that the 4th is over with because my dogs have been going nuts. The whole weekend, people were setting off fireworks in the neighborhood & we could NOT get the dogs to go outside! We almost had to carry them out just to get them to go to the bathroom. Yep, I have 2 whimpy mutts! Ah well, gotta love 'em :)

Well, nothing much else is new, so this is going to be a short entry.

Till I blog again,

B

2 Blogs?

Although I already have a blog on Scrap Submit, I decided to try another site that seems easier to work with & this one looks like it has more features, too. I figure I'll do this one as my personal blog & the Scrap Submit one as my scrapping blog.....works for me :)

Anyway, today is Friday, the 1st of July.....hard to believe it's July already! This summer if flying by WAY too fast! But isn't that the way it always is? The summer's go by fast & winter seems to last forever & a day! I love the longer days during the summer.....so much more time to get things done outside & enjoy the weather, like I plan on doing this weekend because it's supposed to be absolutely gorgeous here in Michigan all weekend. Even though my dh will be working OT, we're still planning on doing some gardening, mulching the rest of our flower beds & planting some more shrubs. Every year, I keep saying that I'm done buying new plants, but then once the summer gets here, I'm off to Wojo's Garden Center to buy some more :) I want to replace my Hibiscus that aren't doing very good anymore. The above picture is of my Clematis.....they bloomed really good this year. I just love the deep, rich purple color of them.

Last week, my dh & I planted a rose garden in memory of my sister & brother-in-law. They're the reason I came up with this name for my blog. On Eagle's Wings was the song played at their funeral. They were both tragically killed in a motorcycle accident on August 29, 2004 when a girl driving in a car crossed over into their lane & hit them head on. They both died instantly. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 months since the accident :( Not a day goes by that I don't think about them & cry. Karen, my sister, was more than just a sister to me.....she was my best friend! We shared our most intimate secrets with each other & I truly miss that!

Okay, now that I'm done shedding another tear from writing that, I guess I'll stop here for now.

Until I blog again,
B